The Generation X Files

I started blogging last week, unsure if anyone would read it. I thought I’d try writing a post or two and see what happened.

I ended up writing one every day and I already have a subscriber who reads every post (you know who you are and I thank you!).

There are a few other people who read my posts daily and that’s more than I had hoped for. I am so grateful that each one of you takes the time to read them. Time is precious. It means a lot to know that someone has given some of theirs to me for a few moments.

I started a post yesterday. I spent most of the day trying to unscramble the thoughts in my brain into words on the screen. If you read my previous post about my inner voice she was no help yesterday!

No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t find a way to share the contents of my brain. It was getting late. I’d already spent hours on this draft. I’d wasted most of the day already.

I read it again and realised it was just too big a topic. I knew what I wanted to say but I just couldn’t bring it all together. There were too many tangents. It simply wasn’t ready. Best to leave it for now and try again. I could write about something else it’s not like I’m short on topics!

So, I shut off the laptop.

The impatient side of me was disappointed. I’d have to wait another day to connect with you.But the perfectionist in me wanted to wait. To take my time. The whole point of my blog is to make connections. It’s important to me that I get it right.

I try to picture you, reading my posts and I imagine I’m talking to a friend. That’s why I encourage anyone who’s reading this to make use of my comments sections. I’ve made them available on my posts and I have a Tips page – for both types of donations 😜

I really want to hear from you. About anything and everything! Even if it’s just to share a joke. Especially if it’s to share a joke in fact. There’s nothing I like better than a good belly laugh!

Last night, I knew I’d have to distract my brain. I wanted to stop thinking about the unfinished post in my drafts folder. I didn’t want to start giving myself a hard time over it. It’s not like anyone is really waiting for it.

I felt bad that I had already broken an unspoken promise to myself, to post every day. I decided to get lost online for a while. One of my favourite ways to spend time!

As I reached for my phone, it started to play the Imperial March. I like to assign a notification sound to the contacts in my phone. I choose something that makes me think of that person instantly.

I smiled as soon as it began to play. I knew I was about to talk to one of my most favourite humans. The fabulous Frankie!

We’d been leaving each other voice notes throughout the day but were both distracted with other things. Now we were both at home and could let rip!

Our conversations never really begin or end. We pick up from where we left off seamlessly. I moved abroad nine years ago but we still talk all the time.

It’s hard to find a friend that you can really be yourself with. Who you don’t see often but is always there when it really counts. A true kindred spirit that you know your life would be poorer for if you’d never met. Frankie is that friend.

Last night, I sat giggling, just listening to that familiar voice. My friend who has a million things going on in their life but still always makes time for me! An ocean separates us but we’re only ever a thought away from each other.

We spent a couple of hours making each other laugh. I mean really laugh. Ugly laugh. Where you have to hold your belly so your sides don’t split. I might tell you the story one day of what started us laughing in the first place. But honestly, Frankie tells it better!

Before I knew it, it was well after midnight! A late night for me! Time really does fly when you’re having fun!

I had expected a restless night with a churning brain. Instead, I went to bed still wiping away tears of laughter. It’s impossible not to be happy after speaking with Frankie! I love you and miss you if you’re reading this! xx

I’ve been thinking about time a lot recently. I think it’s because it’s been a bit of a crazy year. For a LOT of reasons. I’m not even going to touch politics or I’ll never get this one done!

Maybe it’s because I turned 50 this year and this is the mid-life crisis (or does that happen sooner?). But still, this year has gone by in a flash. It feels like time has sped up and I wonder if other people feel the same?

Which is what I was going to talk about in my blog post yesterday.

I couldn’t find a way to show how important time is. I also couldn’t show the many ways it applies to our life. I quoted dictionary definitions with examples of expressions like; it can express urgency e.g. “nick of time”.

I made a joke about how bad I feel about killing time (I’m a repeat offender!). Especially after it’s been so kind to me. A few grey hairs and laughter lines. They’re worth it for the smiles that put them there!

I planned to link to an article I read. It explained how time has technically sped up three times this year! Well, not time exactly. The Earth spun faster so the days were fractionally shorter. The article explained it a lot better. It’s really complicated!

But, today I deleted that draft. I began this one you’re reading now. Because I realised that it all could basically be boiled down to – life is short!

Being a human on this planet is hard work. It makes life more bearable to know you’re not going through it alone.

As this year is drawing to a close, I realise I’ve been less sociable this year. I’m on a new treatment for the psoriatic disease that’s plagued my life since I was 15. My immune system is suppressed and I’m learning to adapt.

I’ve not been great at keeping in touch with people this year. But I’m lucky. I have friends like Frankie who will understand. They’ll give me time.

It’s Christmas in 41 days (arggggggghhhhh!) so I still have time to send a thoughtful card to the people that matter most. And so do you. Please try to find more time for the people that you love.

And make time for yourself to do the things that really make you happy. Or else what’s the point?

So, now I hope you understand how much it means when you take your time to read my posts. I hope I finally got across my message on the importance of time. Please don’t waste another second!

Citizen Jane x