The Generation X Files

One of the first things we do when we enter the world is cry.

It’s one of our first means of communication. It provokes a response so powerful, even our domesticated cats have learned to mimic the sound (those sneaky little critters know all the tricks to make us do their bidding!).

One thing the felines haven’t figured out (yet!) is how to shed emotional tears. That’s something only humans do.

Well, some do and others don’t. It’s one of those things that depends on the individual. I fall into the category of………..ermmm………let’s call it “prone to tears”.

Not just when I’m sad or in pain either. I do it when I’m frustrated too. I also frequently cry while I’m laughing. Sometimes I even do it in my sleep!

It’s something I don’t have much control over. I really do try to hold it in but, sometimes my heart releases the pressure valve while my brain isn’t looking! And the tears begin to flow…

Not Hollywood crying either…where tears sparkle like diamonds as they drip down a face that is somehow, made more beautiful by their presence….

No. That’s not what happens when I cry. It’s more like when a dam bursts…it’s dirty and messy and a lot of sh*t comes out!

The thing is you’re not supposed to cry when you’re a grown up. It’s something you do when you’re a child.

Even then we’re told “big boys/big girls don’t cry”. We’re encouraged to suppress the tears and be “strong”. Be brave and “man up”.

But, I’ve never been able to. I’m a Highly Sensitive Person.

That’s not just a title I’ve earned over the years, it’s an actual personality trait. One that up to 30% of us share in fact. For me it means:

• I find certain sounds and smells overwhelming

• I overthink EVERYTHING and research to the point of obsession

• I feel things with too much intensity sometimes…both sadness and happiness

• I am affected by the moods and energy of people around me

And yeah, sometimes it makes me cry.

To the casual observer, it might seem chaotic. It sometimes is!

But there’s an upside to being so sensitive. I connect deeply with people and make friends easily. I’ve been told I’m thoughtful and conscientious. I get genuine pleasure from helping other people and making them smile.

I laugh far more than I cry (which I think we’ve established is a lot!) and I’m happy more often than I’m sad. So it all works out in the end.

It’s what makes me…well me. The thing that helps me find the best in people. To have faith that we’ll be okay. Drives me to turn those frowns upside down.

Because life is hard for everyone and believe me, I notice. I can’t help but see the world not just through my eyes but with my heart as well.

And nowadays, surely that’s enough to make anyone cry!

Citizen Jane x ✌️

p.s. there are probably more relevant songs to the topic but I just LOVE this one!